Sweet Raunchies

British humor is the best in the world and comes in all shapes and sizes, dry and subtle to silly and outrageous. But always the best. Vicki found these in a C-store in Bourton-on-the-Water. Raunchy confectionary humor.

Boredom-On-The-Water

From Northleach we found a comfy lay by about a mile south of Bourton-on-the-Water, one of the better known Cotswold Villages, and settled in for a multi-day stay, visiting the precious little villages, going for walks, reading, waiting for summer, etc.

Our campsite, relatively secluded, close to town--there's
even a footpath--and quiet at night

The pretty parts of town look like this; the other 90% is
cheesy touristy crap stores, tea rooms, B&B's, and mom and
pop "museums"

This is pretty much the Water, about 30 feet wide and three
blocks long

It's this deep

Absolutely the only thing of interest to me was this
topiary in progress outside the Motor Museum

Interestingly, perhaps only a quarter mile out of town, on
the public footpaths, are three pretty ponds, lakes really, all
privately-owned; turbusses not welcomed; maybe this was
the Water, originally

Postscript: next day, after a long walk, I came to feel better
about B-on-the-W after a stop at the New Old Inn; "it comes
in pints?!" "I'm getting one!"

Compare with painting above... Actually, I'm growing fond
of bitter, the local stuff, but then I always do, whether in
Scotland or Ireland or France or Italy or even Turkey,
speaking of which, we found some real Efes at a Morrison's
in Tewkesbury

Northleach

A few more miles' driving and we are in Northleach, a Cotswold town we visited in 1989, with our girls, for an exercise in brass rubbing. I remember eating in a pub while the rubbing was underway. I also remember that the Porsche Club of Great Britain was head-quartered here. But no one now seems to remember it.

Pretty standard Cotswold stone, manicured garden; turns out the property was for
sale

Ditto, Cotswold-wise

Of particular interest: a house full of doll houses; alas, closed

Outside view

Inside peek

Listings...pretty much like a real estate office; the Cotswold
stone house runs L700...about $1100

We ventured later into the SS Peter & Paul church, 15th century mostly,
updated, of course

Northleach brass; we still have those 1989 rubbings, girls...
they're in our Missoula home

And, astonishingly, right here in an open church, Ribera's
Quo Vadis, Domine; not a Velasquez, granted, but something
that really should be in a museum, under security

More Cotswolds in Northleach; note the snot-green down-spouts...

Chedworth Roman Villa

Our first visit after leaving Tewkesbury was to have been a major long barrow--a neolithic burial site--out in the countryside. Alas, as the one-lane road narrowed, we came upon some road work and were told the road was impassable. A local person volunteered the site had been there for 6,000 years and probably would still be there when we get back this way. We've seen long barrows before (e.g., West Kennet), and so weren't particularly disappointed. We turned around and headed for Chedworth Roman Villa, another National Trust site, more or less in the Cotswolds.

We have pulled over into the "passing bay"; a moment before
we had been joking that, well, we certainly won't see any
tour buses on this little lane 

Chedworth is one of some thirty Roman villas in the
Cotswolds region; above is an artist's conception; it was
discovered and crudely excavated in Victorian times;
research and preservation continue under the National
Trust

Most of the better mosaics, etc., are in this building, built
to protect them; one mostly thinks of Britain as an outpost
of Roman civilization; but they were here for nearly 500
years, plenty long enough to build a substantial economy
and society, and to have country villas like this one

Thus; reception area

And thus

And thus; note under-floor heating

Family areas

Octagonal water feature, water from a spring up the hill

More of the villa ruins

Another large room with under-floor heating

In the little museum

The guide called this a "Roman snail," telling us that the
Romans brought these snails to Britain as a food delicacy;
protected species now; looks like good eatin' to me

Not Roman but nonetheless interesting: a
yellow Buckeye tree has been grafted onto
a regular Horse Chestnut tree (same, pretty
much, as the Ohio state tree)

Poppies in a field along the road

Tewkesbury Abbey; Or, How To Save Your Local Abbey

Tewkesbury Abbey is pretty much intact. Only the Lady Hall was removed from the abbey church. The townspeople bought the abbey from Henry VIII to be their parish church, for the price of the bell and the roof lead. And so they have what must be one of the largest and most beautiful parish churches on the island, virtually a model Norman cathedral. Which prompts us to wonder why this sort of thing wasn't done more often. Part of the answer must be that abbeys mostly were located in very remote places. No townspeople. Another part may be that the monastical system was on its last legs and deteriorating already. The plagues had thinned out the population sufficiently for there to be ample employment and opportunity elsewhere. Tintern Abbey, we read, was down to its last six monks, there were no lay brothers to work the fields or repair the buildings, and they were selling off their gold and silver just to eat. Based on aggrandizement, cheap labor, etc., they were not particularly well-liked, particularly as the Reformation was now gathering steam. So Henry VIII and his government merely administered the coup de grace; with a tidy profit, no doubt. The abbots and abbesses and their colleagues, we have been told, were pensioned off. Fortunately for us, Tewkesbury Abbey survived.

The Keep Calm thing, BTW, has gone way too far

The abbey church, from the campground car park

Aerial view, with town and mighty Avon in the background

Nave view; a bit of work going on...but you still can admire
the giant Norman piers, thevaulting, the triforium, the teeniny
windows in the clerestory, and so on

Thus; and the vaulting has bosses that relate events in the life
of Jesus

A Gurney stove, how large buildings were heated in the 19th
century; Tewkesbury has two

The Pelican myth (look it up)

Vicki observed: if you're going to do graffiti, do it well...

Chancel, altar, etc.

East window

Organ

In the Chapel of the Holy Trinity, the Chantry of Lord Hugh Despenser (one of
the Black Prince's lieutenants at Poitiers), the first example of true fan vaulting,
so the sign said; I'll be looking for the sign that announces the first example of
false fan vaulting

View from the northwest

The abbey sits on a beautiful park campus, Tewkesbury
center, studded with what must be champion trees (so
many there is a separate pamphlet on them); here, one
of a couple of big redwoods